Get all your ingredients and equipment ready. Fill and boil the kettle. Put a large saucepan on a high heat. Turn the oven on to 180ºC/350ºF/gas 4. Put the coarse grater attachment into the food processor.
Peel and slice the onions and add to the large pan with a splash of water and a few good lugs of olive oil. Carefully cut the butternut squash in half across the middle (for speed I’m only using the seedless neck), wrap up the base and put in the fridge for another day. Quarter the neck lengthways, then slice it into 1cm chunks – no need to peel them. Add to the pan. Trim the cauliflower and remove the outer leaves. Cut it into bite-sized chunks, and throw them into the pan. If you want some extra heat, slice up the chilli and add it now. Crush in the unpeeled garlic. Finely chop the coriander (stalks and all). Reserve a few leaves for garnish and add the rest to the pan with a couple of generous splashes of boiled water.
Add the rogan josh paste and the tin of chickpeas, with their juices. Season and stir well, then put a lid on. Cook hard and fast, stirring occasionally.
Put the mug of rice into a medium saucepan with a lug of olive oil and a few cloves, then cover with 2 mugs of boiled water (use the same mug you used for the rice). Add a pinch of salt, then put the lid on and boil on a medium heat for 7 minutes. Fill and reboil the kettle.
Scrunch up a large sheet of greaseproof paper under the tap. Flatten it out, then layer the chapattis on top, drizzling each lightly with a little olive oil and a sprinkling of turmeric. Wrap them in the paper and put them on the middle shelf of the oven.
Toast the almonds in a small pan on a medium heat, tossing occasionally until golden. Tip into a small bowl. Wash and trim the carrots. Grate them in a food processor, using the coarse grater attachment, with the chilli (stalks and seeds removed), the top third of a bunch of coriander and a peeled 2cm piece of ginger. Tip into a serving bowl.
Check and add a splash of water if it looks a bit dry. Stir, then replace the lid.
By now the 7 minutes should be up, so take the rice off the heat and leave it to sit with the lid on for 7 minutes. This will let it steam and will give you beautiful fluffy nutty rice.
Drizzle a lug of extra virgin olive oil over the salad and add a pinch of salt. Finely grate in a little lemon zest, then add a good squeeze of lemon juice. Toss well. Sprinkle over the toasted almonds and half of the reserved coriander leaves, and take to the table.
Take the lid off. Do you need to adjust the consistency at this point? If so, you can add a generous splash of boiled water, depending on whether you want it drier or wetter. Or mash up some of the veg for different textures. Taste and add a pinch of salt, if needed, then add the spinach and stir through.
Cut the lemon into eighths, then deseed and finely slice. Finely slice the red chilli quarter. Put the small pan you toasted the almonds in back on to a medium to high heat. Add a drizzle of olive oil to the pan and the mustard seeds, turmeric and the sliced chilli. Crumble in
the dried chilli. When everything starts to sizzle, add the sliced lemon and a pinch of salt, count to ten, then take off the heat and put in a bowl to cool.
Tip half the tub of yoghurt into a small bowl. Drizzle over a little extra virgin olive oil and take to the table with the poppadoms and the bowl of lemon pickle. Remove the chapattis from the oven and take them straight to the table. Transfer the rice and curry into large serving bowls. Spoon the remaining yoghurt over the curry, sprinkle with the rest of the coriander leaves and take both bowls to the table. Crack open your beers and go for it!